fill the silence

[Filter: Private]

Ooh ... this is it. Daddy's agreed to it. This -- it's probably the last time I'll ever see my home. That I'll ever see the people. The streets, the shops, the castle, my room ... all of those memories. But it's for the best ... of course it is. Safety is always more important than ... than ...

[long pause and the writing gets shaky]

Everything's going to be fine. Everything will work out great. I just have to ... I have to be careful and ... and we've planned everything just perfectly. It has to go smoothly. We'll be traveling light, in a small group, we'll make good time. I just know it.

I just --

[pause]

Why do I have this feeling that --

[writing gets steadier]

No. No.

We'll be just fine.

[Filter: Eric]

Um ... hi!

I guess it's been a while since we talked, hasn't it?

I just wanted to tell you. We're leaving Kasrae. It's ... been a long journey but he's finally agreed to it. It's for the best. For his safety ... I just guess I'm a bit nervous.

[Filter: Eric]

Ooh ... Eric!

I just ... I just didn't know who to go to or who to talk to and it just seemed like I needed to talk to someone about it and I don't know ... I can't talk to Zach because he never uses his journal anymore and I miss him so much ... ooh, you wouldn't believe just how much I miss him and how much I wish that I could be with him right now and I don't know what I should do because I need to stay strong for daddy and he just won't see reason or even listen when we say he has to leave! They're telling us that those rebels might want to kill him! He doesn't deserve anything like that and we're just trying to tell them that he doesn't, but I don't know what we could do or say to convince them otherwise!

Ooh ... and daddy's been so depressed lately and he refuses to leave his people! We told him that he has to, but I don't know! It seems as if we've come too far downhill to even fix the city and we just need to get him out of here.

Through all of this, it's Rose Day, and I'm doing my best to try and make him smile, at least. To make him his favorite dessert, but ...

I just -- I feel so lost, Eric.

I'm sorry ... I know that you must be terribly busy and ... and everything, but I just ... I don't know what else I could do, anymore.

[Filter: Private]

Ooh ... I can't believe everything that's going on around here ... around everywhere!

There's a war between Dentoria and Korin ... things around here are a complete mess ... everything in Rayla has gone insane, and all of Korin is just crumbling around us.

I just ... I don't even know how to get to daddy, of all things. So many more important things and I can't even get him to listen to me for a moment. To get him away from everyone and everything for even a minute. I don't know what to even do ...

But ... I can't let that get to me, I have to keep trying.

Even if it doesn't work the first time...

[Filter: Dame Brianna]

I um ... well, I've been thinking about what we talked about. About the distraction we need to make in order for my father to um ... to get some time alone with him, and I remembered how much his adviser likes being right. It got me thinking about how much he just loves to correct people and lecture everyone about the proper way to do things, and I thought that maybe ... if someone were to challenge him in some way, it would distract him enough to get him out of the room ... or at least get my father out of the room somehow. Ooh, I don't know if that even makes any sense.

[Filter: Lady E--

I um ...

[Filter: Private]

Ooh ... I ... how am I going to ...

I --

No. I have to just ... just come out and say it and be as strong as I can be, because if I don't at least try this ... if I don't ... then who will?

With everything that they must be going through ... and daddy ...

[wet spots appear]

daddy ...

[Filter: Lady Eve]

Please, Lady Eve. Please, can you let me go? I want to go and do what I can ... I ... I know you said that you couldn't afford the soldiers, but if it were just me ... if I could just go on my own, to help my family ... I ... please ... I need to help them ...

[Filter: Keller]

Ooh ... umm ... do you think we should head back to Rayla, for now?

We'll need to restock and give the soldiers some time to rest before we go out scouting again, won't we? I think we've been lucky, so far ... we haven't been spotted or anything so ... but I think we might have to take some of these soldiers in ... I don't know ...

Should I send the knight into Rayla with the reports or do you think it would be better to just write to them?

[Filter: Those is Rayla]

Ooh ... I know this sounds just horrible, but no one better mention anything about Lord Kray being back in front of Mal.

She's going to want to go see him just as soon as she hears that he's back ... and he needs to feel better before he gets to see her or she's only going to get upset. I just ... I don't think it's good for her to see her daddy looking ... well, just looking badly ...

Everyone understands, right? She just only stopped crying and throwing fits these past couple of weeks and we don't want to upset her even more ... because she just doesn't understand what's going on. I'm so sorry for this, really ...! It's just ... well, you know how she was ...

[Filter: Private]

Ooh ... I can't believe I completely lost track of time like this ...! I was supposed to buy all of the presents for my family already ...! It's not going to get to them in time for the Festival if I don't get it all right now. I don't even know what I'm going to get for them all, yet ... and I still need to find out about hiring a messenger to deliver it to them as soon as possible.

I know that Zach's been so busy with his soldiers lately that I would feel just horrible asking him to come out to the markets with me to look for gifts. He doesn't have time for that ...

Hm ... maybe --

[Filter: Eric]

Um ... I know that I've been asking you for tons of favors, lately ... but you aren't busy by any chance, are you?

[Filter: Lady Eve]

Um ... so, Lady Eve ...!

I was wondering, well, I know just how horribly busy you've been lately and I thought that maybe you could use a break. So um ... I was thinking that maybe I could pack a little lunch or something and then you and I could go flying for just a little tiny bit and go eat some lunch and then come right back!

It shouldn't take too long, and I think that you really really really need this break ...! But then, I mean, if you think it's a bad idea then we don't have to ... or um ... you could go on your own if you need some alone time and I could try to help you with anything you need to get done ... hee, I don't know.

[Filter: Private]

Ooh ... it's just horrible ... I've even been having these horrible nightmares lately. I mean, it's not even like I know what exactly they look like or what they even are, but I can't stop thinking about these horrible, half-frozen people with their dead eyes and dark faces and ooh ... it's just so creepy ...!

This is just awful ... I don't know why these stories are scaring me so much ...! Everyone says they aren't real, and I should believe them when they say that, right?



... but it just isn't right ...

[Filter: Private]

Ooh ... everyone has been so busy lately. There's just so much work to be done these days ... it's just awful that I can't do more for them.

Well ... I guess I could go out on the training grounds more often, take care of Mal whenever I can, and even ask Lady Eve if there's anything I can do for her when I have spare time. I wonder if I do worry too much, though ... I don't think I do, but even Zach said that I worry too much when I kept asking him if he liked his birthday party. I just wanted to make sure, but I guess I was being annoying when I kept asking him the same questions over and over again ...

Mm ... I guess I should try not to worry so much ... but it's so hard not to sometimes!